Have you ever felt like the Lord is giving you a word, straight from his heart into yours? This Sunday I felt like that, and I have been turning it over and over in my head since.
This concept of expecting God's blessings and believing the promises he has made to me, to us, has always been a bit difficult for me. I get it intellectually (sort of) but actually putting foot to pavement and living it is hard. Hard to go against the norm, what our society says is okay and what we should expect. But Jesus has been teaching me...teaching me to see his way over the world's, teaching me to believe him over others, teaching me that he wants to give me my hearts desires and so much more. We started a series called "How Far Is Too Far" in church last week about just that. Pastor Braden has been explaining that Jesus is grace and that he, by the cross, made everything that is in heaven available to us on earth. That it takes faith to access all that he has made available. He is breaking it down, and the Lord is opening my heart to receive it in a new way.
So here is what I have been processing for three days now. I don't want a version of what the Lord promises me. I want the real true thing, the whole enchilada. How do I get it? I must do everything exactly as the Lord commands. (Gen. 6:22) I don't get to pick and choose what to follow, or do things my way, on my time table. I must trust the Lord, take him at his word. I know that his ways are better than mine, that what he says is truth so why do I constantly insist that I know better, that the world has told me a better way? Answer: I am selfish and oh so impatient. I am not saying that faith is works based, please don't read that. I am saying I need to start taking Jesus at his word. Declaring what he says I will have, I will have. I have noticed that my words about one particular desire are not produced out of faith, but out of fear. I have bought into the world's lies that a lot of women struggle with this and I should start taking it into my own hands. I told myself two weeks ago that I had given the Lord a year and a half to give me this and he is failing. That that was enough time and I was done waiting. I chose to ignore all the wonderful things he as given me as I have waited for and lost what I want. Things I would not have been able to receive if the timing was different. But thank you Holy Spirit for convicting me on this. For showing me that you have more for me if I trust you and do it your way.
Here are the podcast for the series I'm talking about. Please listen, or better yet come join us Sunday, as I am sure my rambling makes much less sense that Braden's message in entirety!